Guest Review: Black Baby, White Hands: A View From the Crib

Black Baby White Hands: A View from the CribHello everyone! We have a special guest reviewer today, Sherrie, a good friend that I met through a group we both love! She lives in Texas and is a foster and adopted mother. I'm very proud to call her my friend and happy that she has decided to share a bit of her life with us in this review.

Black Baby, White Hands: A View From the Crib by Dr. Jaiya John, Soul Water Rising, publisher


Sherrie's Thoughts:

I don't know if it was necessarily my favorite book I've read in the last year, but is sure has stayed with me the longest. It's called Black Baby White Hands: A View from the Crib by Dr. Jaiya John

Admittedly, it was a very difficult read for me. When I decided to adopt transracially and as a single parent, I didn't do so lightly. I wanted to read everything written, look at the subject from all sides and go into it with my eyes wide open. I didn't get this particular book until last year as it was on my wish list for a while and honestly, wasn't one that I thought to go out and buy. Boy, I sure wish I would have.

I read TONS of books by adoption professionals, therapists, social workers , adoptive parents, children's books regarding adoption and "non-traditional" families, but truthfully there aren't very many written by adult adoptees especially those adopted transracially or by single parents from from foster care (maybe I should write one heh?? LOL)

Anyway, Dr. John is obviously very well spoken and possesses a gift of the English language - beautiful prose throughout the book. Initially, it was very hard for me to get through the book as Dr John kept pointing out all of the things he had wished his parents had done or not done or did differently, etc, etc. I kept identifying with the adoptive parent (s) and quite frankly vacillated between finding myself lacking as a parent or Dr. John unappreciative and unsympathetic to his parent's journey into transracial parenting with absolutely no map.

However, toward the end of the book, it was obvious that he greatly loved his parents and that things were okay.

It was only after I had read the entire book, and was able to reflect that I was able to take from the book that it was HIS story, not the story of his parent's journey as transracial parents, but a story of a black boy raised in a white home, with white parents living in a (mostly) white community - his feelings of isolation, lack of identity and struggle to find himself. I guess what this book has helped me realize is - until the world is truly color blind, I won't raise my son to be.

I'm not going to raise him wearing rose-colored glasses about the world and the people around him. I'd be doing him a disservice if I did. My son is black and I want him to know that and be proud of it. That's part of who he is.

One of my biggest peeves, is when people tell me that oh, I bet you don't even notice that he's black, he's just your son. That is absolutely not true. Being black is part of who is he, I don't love him regardless of whether or not he is black, one of the many reasons that I love him because he is black.

Speaking of adoption and foster care , of the 19 children that I've fostered, 18 have been children of color. Of those 18 , 9 have been African American. I feel it truly is my calling to foster and adopt African American Children most especially males. They are the hardest to place and to get adopted. For me this is an intently personal issue - and I hope one that resonates for all of those fortunate enough to read this book.